Francis is...

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                Francis is.."was" seems so harsh..he's been gone now
      for 2 months exactly..its january the 8th 2004...still here i am
 trying to come to terms...still tryin' to beat myself to sleep......!
  it's so easy  to say nice things about someone who's gone for good you know,
but then i know Francis and i know he's lookin' and watchin' me as i write this...
  wish i felt nothing really about him..wish i were as insensitive as you all..that
might make it easier on me....Israel and i had a misunderstanding 4 days after
  his death...'sAlim nangmah chauh hian i tuar bik lo tih hi hre rawh" statement
  i'll never forget..good that he told me straightaway....but it seems really
that i am the only one...and it aint a mystery as it feels that nobody here needs me...
   Francis was..Francis is...will always to me be that person who was..who is able
 to inspire the weaknesses in you..he was ..he is God damn it...some one who
  knew..who knows what self control about....He was perfect..he will
always be perfect...and im not proud of him...and i miss him....2004
  is here ,,,2005...2006...whatever will come...but then Francis will never be you might have might not for long....i miss you in a Heartbeat Francis......i know you're smiling somewhere....


Francis and mala..And so 2 months
since he left..two months of trying to
deal with the pain ...u know when i switch
off the lights at night...and when i lay down on
the bed...these thoughts of francis visits me..i
ask myself lots of questions...i often go back to
that day..three days before he went away..i go back
all the time to be frank...and its a story all gone wrong..
a story which would never make it to the best seller's list...
  i find this life nothing but a joke..!!


if possible i would love
to go away and take a long break...
everythin' feels so normal and so routined...
 Was just wondering about francis...where
and what he'd be doing....was wonderin too...
if things will ever return to not not sad just Numb....
   seen in the picture..steve.lala..francis..mala..sawma...2001


Israel..everyone tells me that he
looks a lot like Ben affleck..:)..
Anyways..havent really stayed in touch
since late december..sposin that he and the
rest of the bruus are doing okay..and coping..
 ....isnt it a wonder???how life can quickly
turn around in an instant.....nothin' last forever!!


Myself..and i still feel nothing...!





lala..steve and sawma...
we were all so happy once..nothin' came in between us,
dont know where;s life gona take us?and i dont wana know..!


sawma and israel......dont know
what uve got till its gona na guysss??
and ill be coming home next year,,,!!!